Nikola Tesla’s 1899 Yakutat Bay Weapon and The 111 Year Anniversary Christchurch Earthquakes by The Biblical Prophet

Here’s one over at you-know-whos that I’m not entirely sure is just standard bat-shit-crazy, or a fantastically well thought-out parody designed to get under the ‘delete-any-comment-that-disagrees-with-my-viewpoint’ policy being operated by that site’s owner. (Or maybe something else entirely?)

Basically, what Freemason Illuminati (who would also appear to have made the ‘Elijah the Proper John‘ comments on the same page) has done is to make a vague claim that the US Geologic Service is in on some sort of conspiracy that is suppressing the fact that good ol’ Nikolas Tesla invented some type of earthquake machine back in the 19thC, and that some published research they’ve done is, in fact, disinformation. (Tesla’s invention, it would seem, was used to help cause the recent Christchurch earthquake, as part of some 111 year thing the Freemasons have got going on with earthquakes — if I read correctly, which I probably don’t. Anyway…).

His comment (supposedly) recounts the history and technical points that are pertinent (or, as the case may be, totally irrelevant) to the discussion at hand.

But what’s interesting to me is that they’ve just cut’n’pasted the abstract from an actual USGS research paper (Geological and Geophysical Evaluation of the Mechanisms of the Great 1899 Yakutat Bay Earthquakes), and then replaced sections and words with what they imagine are ‘the facts’. Main differences from the first couple of hundred words are highlighted with yellow (generally removed on the left, and added on the right):

Original
We have used tectonic, geologic, and seismologic observations to reevaluate the mechanisms and seismotectonic significance of the two great (Mw = 8.1 and 8.2) September 1899 Yakutat Bay earthquakes. In their comprehensive study of these earthquakes between 1905 and 1910, Tarr and Martin (1912) showed that these events were accompanied by shoreline changes in Yakutat Bay that ranged from 14.4 m emergence to 2.1 m submergence, uplift of about 1 m at Yakataga 160 km west of Yakutat Bay, and by several zones of surface fissures on land. Although major earthquake faults were not found, Tarr and Martin postulated that the shoreline displacements were caused by vertical movements on a system of concealed steep normal faults and that the fissure zones on ridges were along subsidiary faults.
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Our geologic studies in the Yakutat Bay region indicate that: (1) the emergent shorelines along Yakutat Bay define a broad upwarp roughly 50 km x 30 km that is primarily related to reverse slip on local concealed shallowly dipping thrust faults; (2) the reported subsidence was due largely, or entirely, to nontectonic surficial submergence of unconsolidated deposits; and (3) most, if not all, of the zones of surface fractures related to the 1899 earthquakes are “sackung” that were probably caused by large-scale gravitational slumping of steep slopes, rather than faulting. A small number of early damped seismograms and the vertical uplift data were used to constrain the fault slippage that occurred during the two great earthquakes of 1899.
Freemason Illuminati
We have used tectonic, geologic and seismologic observations to reevaluate the mechanisms and seismotectonic significance of the two great man-made Mw 8.1 and 8.2 September 1899, Yakutat Bay, Weapons of mass destruction. In their comprehensive study of these Tesla Weapons between 1905 and 1910, Tarr and Martin [1912] showed these events and what accompanied their deployment, including the all time world record for shoreline changes in Yakutat Bay man beat nature with simply the record uplift ever recorded that ranged from 47.2 ft. emergence to 6.9 ft. submergence, uplift of about 3.3 ft. at Yakataga 160 km west of Yakutat Bay, all caused by Nikola Tesla who was several thousand miles away at Knob Hill in Colorado Springs. There were similar noises at both places. The same crackling sound that gives away the biggest secret of all time. Although major earthquake faults were not found, Tarr and Martin postulated that the shoreline displacements were caused by vertical movements on a system of concealed steep normal faults and that the fissure zones on ridges were along subsidiary faults. 

My studies in the Yakutat Bay region indicate that: (1) the emergent shorelines along Yakutat Bay define a broad upwarp roughly 50 km by 30 km that is primarily related to a Nikola Tesla “reverse slip” on local concealed shallowly-dipping thrust faults; (2) the reported subsidence was due largely, or entirely, to Nikola Tesla’s tectonic shock; and (3) most, if not all, of the zones of surface fractures related to the 1899 Weapon are “sackung” that were caused by Nikola Tesla’s large-scale gravitational pumping of the planet itself cracking at steep slopes, rather than natural faulting. A small number of early damped seismograms and the vertical uplift data were used to constrain the fault slippage that occurred when Tesla conducted the weapon testing during the twenty six+ days of near constant palpitation of the earth’s surface due to great Weapon in 1899.

I don’t know — does the mere fact of inserting “Nikolas Tesla” into a scientific text enough times make your desired reading of said document come true? Actually, I do know, it doesn’t.

Now, still not sure of the serious/parody nature of this comment, I thought I’d poke around teh intawebs to see if I could find anything else to help me make up my mind one way or the other. Freemason’s comment title was linked to: thenumberofthebeast.org — which, upon closer inspection, would make you think, “yes, batshit insane”. All the ingredients: long rambling text; terrible layout, injudicious use of comic sans, and a background that makes most of the text unreadable.

A google keyword search on the first bit of text from the ‘altered’ version — Saint John the Baptist: Nikola Tesla’s 1899 Yakutat Bay — leads us to two other sites: one a flickr account which you would think from the content (lots and lots of tesla stuff, registered to a user who lists his occupation as ‘Biblical Prophet’), is certainly related to our Freemason character. And another, which you wouldn’t: golfclubspromotion.com. But then, when you visit, you do — the altered text has been copy’n’pasted here as well, somewhat undermining the golfclub promotion that’s going on at the very bottom of the page.

So, what the hell? Has someone hacked the site? What is going on here? The contact on the golf page is someone called Chris, which coincidentally (uh-oh, I’m starting to connect disparate facts using nothing but coincidence), is also the metatag author name of thenumberofthebeast.org site. The domain name attached to the numberofthebeast.org Chris is imprintX.com, which, at the time of writing had this introduction…

BREAKING NEWS – (10 minutes ago) Christopher [redacted] Put your pens on an (A). That means the same thing as a (P). You say crazy is me?

…and has lots and lots on our beloved Tesla. But also lots and lots (and lots) of products of all shapes and sizes (including Golf Accessories!). ImprintX also seems to be responsible for at least a couple of other golf and general product marketing sites.

So, it is, in fact, some bizarre marketing scheme? Designed to intrigue inquisitive idiots like myself with their crazy talk of tesla, numerology and freemasons, and then, having teased me in, sucker-punch me with an irresistible offer of a new set of novelty golf-club heads at knock-down (dare one say ‘crazy’) prices?

I suppose I could just ask, but, as is often the way when delving around the conspiratorial corners of teh intawebs, my brain hurts a bit, and I think a nice drink a lie down would be better for me…

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